Understanding what stands in the way of reaching for our dreams, by Life Coach, Valina at Shine, Church Street.
This quote by Erin Hanson really says a lot; not only does it speak to the common question that we always seem to ask ourselves before nearly every endeavor we take in life, but it also speaks to the potential that we often never really recognise in ourselves.
Getting passed the negativity, self-doubt, and self-loathing is key to shift our mindset from continuously asking ourselves the question, “what if I fall?” to “what if I fly?”. Before we talk about ways you can make that transition, we must first understand why we often never start by asking ourselves, “what if I fly?”.
What If I Fall?
The inner fears, assumptions, limiting beliefs, and interpretations that we often internalise, serve as blocks that keep us from striving to achieve our dreams and living the type of life we desire. Often, our own thought patterns inhibit our drive to pursue what we really want, all because we’re simply too afraid to fail or fall. “I am afraid I might fail if I try to accomplish this particular task, so I better not attempt it in the first place’’. How many times have you thought of a goal and before you even get to visualise the possibility of success, you thought of all the “good’’ reasons this wouldn’t work?
Let’s list some examples of the obstacles that are revealed when we set specific goals:
I will never make it, I am not good enough (inner fear); I tried and failed before, why would I succeed now? (assumption); success comes without failure (limiting belief); my boss gave me a funny look when I pitched my project idea. (interpretation).
In essence, we self-sabotage ourselves into thinking that we are not capable of achieving our dreams while using one or more of the blocks that serve us well. By doubting ourselves and imagining all the things that could potentially go wrong, we help our brain build a mental block, that effectively stops us from physically taking the necessary actions and steps to pursuing our goals.
To fully realize just how detrimental these thought patterns can be, it is essential that we recognize how they dominate our mind, ultimately, clouding our judgement, limiting our motivation, impeding us from visualizing our dreams, and even causing us tremendous mental pain (anxiety) and fear. Fear is an emotion that can overtake us; if we’re constantly plaguing ourselves with negative thought patterns, self-sabotaging behaviors, and limiting beliefs about ourselves and our potential, we open ourselves up to it. If we welcome fear, we’ll find that we consistently ask ourselves, “what if I fall?” instead of, “what if I fly?”
Oh, my Darling, What If You Fly?
My very first teacher at primary school used to say: ‘’There is no I cannot do it, there is only I do not want to do it.’’ I am so deeply grateful to her as she planted a growing seed in my mind that accompanies me throughout my life. I truly believe that we are all capable of manifesting anything we put in our mind if we deeply desire it.
Let’s try a little exercise.
– I invite you to take a blank piece of paper and pen; take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale out through your mouth.
– Take a few minutes to think of one of the goals you desire to accomplish and write it on the top of your paper. Below, write the question ‘’What if I fly?’’ or any other similar question that resonates with you, such as “What if I succeed?” or “What if I believe I can do it?”
– Now, gently close your eyes (or not), and ask yourself (preferably) out loud, ‘’What if I fly?’’ or your own question. Breathe in, breathe out and ask yourself again ‘’What if I fly?’’. Do this for the third time, ‘’What if I fly?’’, take another deep breath in, breathe out and open your eyes.
– Write down anything that comes to your mind without thinking if it makes sense for a minute. What comes up for you?
Understandably, in the beginning, your mind will be flooded with all the negatives; but remember, it is you, my dear one, who has the power over your mind to believe that if you attempt to fly, you will succeed. Finding the inspiration, motivation, and the self-willingness to move forward, pursue your dreams, and achieve your goals doesn’t have to be difficult. It doesn’t have to require an “aha!” moment, or some kind of a mental realisation; all it requires is a possibility. Luckily for us, with nearly every decision we make, there is often always a chance for success, positivity, and a favorable outcome. Sometimes, all we need to do is recognize this possibility.
The quote by Erin Hanson is simple, yet true. I see it as a compassionate, yet assertive statement that guides us towards pursuing our goals and dreams. It serves as a gentle push that helps us explore the possibilities and hidden opportunities within all our life’s experiences; ultimately, allowing us to push our talents further than ever before and recognising that there is always true potential for success with every opportunity that can be enough to ease our negative thoughts and transition from asking ourselves, “What if I fall?” to, “What if I fly?”.
Professional Life & Leadership Coaching at Shine, Stoke Newington.
Throughout my practice as a professional Life and Leadership Coach, when I first meet with a new client, I always help them see their own light, recognize their own talents, and follow their own dreams right from the start. With that said, when working with a life coach, you receive thoughtful guidance, attention, and the services of someone who truly believes in you and your abilities. Life coaching is about empowering people, guiding them through all of life’s challenges, celebrating their achievements and eventually helping people welcome positivity into their lives, while shedding the weight of negative thought patterns.
When Should I Begin Working With A Life Coach?
It may sometimes be difficult to determine just when you should contact a Life Coach in search of some help. While circumstances often differ greatly between clients, the truth is that there really isn’t a specific time or instance. It’s all about you! When you feel plagued by moments of self-doubt, self-sabotage, or self-loathing and you have recognised that these thought patterns are inhibiting you from dreaming, trying, or achieving, you could greatly benefit from the services of a professional Life Coach. Not only will a Life Coach help you to fully release your own potential, but they will help you realise the potential for positive opportunities that you can benefit from.
Why Work With A Life Coach?
Aside from the numerous benefits that a professional Life Coach can offer you, let’s return to the quote by Erin Hanson. She asks the question, “Oh my darling, What If You Fly?” A professional Life Coach will help to ensure that you recognise your ability to fly high above the clouds and the storms, just like eagles do. Fearless, confident, and strong!